Write questions down so you won't forget them.

Be clear about what you want to say to the doctor.

If you have a long list of things to talk about, make a consultation appointment, so the doctor can allow enough time.

Educate yourself about your loved one's disease or disability.

Learn the routine at your doctor's office and/or the hospital so you can make the system work for you.

Recognize that not all questions have answers.

Separate your anger and sense of helplessness about not being able to help your loved one as much as you would like from your feelings about the doctor.

Appreciate what the doctor is doing to help and say so from time to time.

Remember to recognize the difference between you want from what your loved one wants. They may not be the same.