Living Comfortably with Uncertainty

What is uncertainty?

Consciously living with uncertainty-unsure of what to expect, is like looking directly at the sun-it is tough to do for more than a few moments. Facing cancer and cancer treatment requires a different courage than facing the dangers of surgery or treatment. The courage needed to face uncertainty is the willingness to live on the edge of a very personal unknown. It is the courage to live with uncertainty and not to avoid or defend against it.

How do people describe uncertainty?

Vulnerability means learning to live in your body again after an event such as a cancer diagnosis, and feel safe. This may require developing a new kind of awareness.

What causes uncertainty?

Everyone who faces a life-threatening illness or complex treatment has had moments of doubt. This is an inescapable part of having the illusion of immortality shattered. You may have moments when you are suddenly confronted with the realization that you can neither predict nor compel the future. You may find yourself exploring what it’s like to live a life without any guarantees. However, many people feel a greater sense of resilience and a greater focus on priorities.

How do people cope with uncertainty?

Individuals with cancer and those who care for loved ones with cancer commonly experience a sense of vulnerability. These feeling are normal because these are a way of coping with the stress of cancer. Here are some strategies that might be helpful to you:

• Listen carefully to one another.
• Remember that it is okay to feel sad and frustrated at times.
• Seek help through counseling and support groups.
• Gather information from reliable resources, such as your healthcare provider, family or friends
• Use prayer or other spiritual avenues can help you deal with vulnerability
• Check for internet sites that cater to both patient and caregiver
• Try to keep a sense of humor, if possible.
• Try exercises that will help you remain calm when confronting aspects of your illness.
• Ask your doctor questions about expected course and length of disease or treatments and side effects.

What can family members and friends do to help me cope with uncertainty?

• Ask a family member or friend to attend a support group with you.
• Ask family and friends to help you gather information
• Ask your family or friends to help you maintain humor-books, movies

What should I report to my doctor and nurse?

• Problems sleeping (getting to sleep or staying asleep)
• Heart racing or beating hard
• No relief after trying suggestions
• Problems concentrating on usual activities

Where can I get more information?

• Contact your healthcare providers
• Contact your local mental health agency for support groups in your area
• Internet websites such as : http://cancer.gov (National Cancer Institute) or www.cancer.org (American Cancer Society)

References:

1. Buchholz, WM & Buchholz, SW (2001) Live longer, live larger: a holistic approach for cancer patients and families. O'Reilly & Associates, Inc. Sebastopol, CA 221-7.